"the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams..." Eleanor Roosevelt

what a beautiful quote ....i should always remember this quote whenever i start to feel down...but its so hard with my dwindling self-esteem and criticisms that seem to keep me down, especially words from those whom i would least expect to say such things.....i just gota keep strong...only a few more years when i can get out on my own, but will that really ever stop all the mean things??? i cant remember a time in my life where i felt that i was happy with myself for a constant time....whether it be hearing it from family or myself, i would always manage to bring myself down...its just getting so bad lately..esp this year...hearing all the criticisms does not help an already low self-esteem.....its just soo frustrating...i did try my best to lose weight and no one saw that....all they see is that im not losing weight and thats all they focus on...i should know better than to let this get to me... but its so hard....len and my friends try to cheer me up and tell me positive things but i dont know why my mind is trained to only believe the negative things people tell me instead...i dont know.....i just need to focus on the important things in my life and always remember that quote above....sigh

yay i went to the gym today..but it seemed like the longest hour ever to finish those freakin machines!!!!...and it was sooo hot in the valley today...boy has this year been full of weirdo weather....then i chilled at home..helped watched the day care kids, caught up on some passions to see whats going on with luis and sheridan...ran some errands with lola and bought a care bear night light!! then ate dinner and watched travel channel....the shows about the haunted places were on...those episodes are soo interesting but im freaked out after!!! eheheh