have you ever thought about your life at one point, and see that everything was going well and nothing could go wrong??? only to find that the next few weeks would reveal that everything is actually wrong in your life, and u are wondering how and when something will get better?

i'm just so frustrated at this point in my life. a couple months ago i had a whole new life to look forward to: passing my license test, saving up for a house/wedding.....now i still have to pass my test, but i can't concentrate on studying because of all these other things wrong in my life. i'm faced with an uncertain future.....that i have to plan for on my own, because i don't know what tomorrow will bring. i have to pass my test to save and get a place of my own...to be on my own...not as a possible place to start my new life as a wife/mother...i'm getting older and preparing for a place on my own is the only sure thing i can do for myself.....since the future is such a blur...whats the excitement in that? settling down in my own place....alone. sometimes i can't wait to get my own place...cuz lately the parentals have been nagging more and trying to be more nosey....i guess i can see their side...they just want to know that everything is ok with me, cuz i know they can tell something is wrong.....i'd be worried about me too if i were them....i love them for that.....sometimes it just gets to me cuz everything put together is so hard to deal with....how am i going to prepare for my test? everything is such a mess....and im so scared of this uncertain future...this aspect of my life right now can go either way...it scares me...i want to live happily ever after with him, but is that whats destined for the both of us?

i just wish i could go back to the time where i was saving and excited for planning a wedding and starting a life with someone i love...maybe id be more motivated to keep studying and pass my test...not to mention a clear mind and a happy disposition to help me concentrate on my test.