Friday, February 29, 2008

i don't know why but i feel so melancholy...

i know there is my family, fiance, friends all around me and i know they care for me....but with all of that, i still feel alone. i feel like the only person i can really vent to as of now, is myself....and its making me feel this way...i don't want to bother anyone with my petty frustrations...so i'm just always in thought...that i even had a nightmare about work last night! or was it just my cue to get up, and get ready for work!

i feel so stressed out right now...trying to get used to the inspections, while still trying to meet my inspection frequency....sigh...and trying to keep up with my reviews for my license test....(and i can't believe its already been a month since the review!!!) i feel like there is just no time to do anything! and on top of that...every end of the month, i have to help my mom input data into the computer for her day care....i don't even know how i'm going to be able to hang when i start working 7am-5:30pm....i feel like i'd have to go to sleep right when i get home...just like my days in the lab....working 6:30-3pm was harsh! it was nice to get off early...but leaving for work when it was dark in the morning....and going to sleep when i would get home (which would be like 5pm cuz of all the traffic)....i feel like i had no day left to enjoy! gosh i hope it doesn't end up like that for me when i work the longer schedule....at least i work in burbank, so its a lot closer than calabasas!! even so, gas is killing me!! its gone up like 4 cents from yesterday morning til last night and then today it went up again 2 cents!! its ridiculous!

anyways i'm so happy its friday...i should just sleep during the weekend, so i can stop thinking so much about everything...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

here i am, blogging on a rainy saturday night...i should be studying for my registration test that im hoping to take in july, or doing my reviews, but let me just put it off til tomorrow =) i really need to get into a schedule of studying and exercising...but ive been feeling sick lately and a little stressed from trying to get used to my job...

so just want to update that i got restaurant inspection (it was either restaurant or housing inspection) and i got placed in burbank!!! when they gave us our assignments, i was sooo scared to see what would be my future for the next few years, cuz like it or not, that would be where im placed...and theres no way that any of us trainees can change the location! i asked my co worker to check it and when she told me, i was in shock!!! i totally thought i would get placed really far, cuz thats just always my luck!!! ive been praying for God to place me wherever was best for me...but secretly i was hoping for either burbank or the culver city office...=) yay! it all worked out well!!

so just getting used to the whole inspection thing....its funny that everyone thinks the job is soooo cool! but last week i was a little disheartened that although people are so scared of me when i step in and its like i have all this power, they are always lying to my face!!!! its funny how most of the operators always say the same thing and always spit out the same excuses....and when i ask a question and they spit out some answer that they know is the one they should say....it doesnt back up what i see in front of me, and it totally proves that they are lying.....and i would think that when they get caught once, they would learn and then maybe tell the truth, but they dont....they still continue to lie....my favorite is when im just there for a reinspection to check on if they corrected the violations from the original inspection, one person screams "inspector!" and they all start running around, hiding stuff, looking over at me, and continuing to hide stuff, making all this noise! and im thinking, "u guys seriously think that i dont see u doing this? its a freakin open kitchen!" then i just chuckle and move along....

and wedding plans are on hold....i want to focus on studying for my exam first....and once i pass, i can concentrate on the wedding planning...plus it would give us more time to save money and for len to look for a job down here...gosh the time is flying! to think, we were planning for november this year, and thats already 9 months away!! it makes me stressed just thinking about it, and we're already postponing it! i cant even imagine when planning the wedding, how stressed id be cuz time would fly by even faster!! i dont know sometimes i feel like its sooo far into the future....i know we're postponing it but how do i know that when that time comes, we wont keep postponing it....im excited for the time that len and i will finally be living in the same zip code, and i will be able to see him everyday... it just feels so far to me right now...i hope this year will bring us much closer to our future together...wherever that may be....im hoping it will be here in la, but who knows...but again i hope that this year will bring us closer to our future together, whether it be locking the date for the wedding or being able to go looking for a place to call our future home when we get married....(i mean the housing market is looking promising for first time buyers, so that should be a good sign )....but where do we look? up north or la...